Lies, all of it, the world is full of lies, some of which i am about to expose....

QWERTYUIOP (the top row of letters on most keyboards) is Indonesian for "Your mother
is a henhouse."

Welshmen are allergic to pajamas.

William Shakespeare's middle name was Colin.

Belgian males remove their trousers while driving.

The surface area of Charles Bronson's face exceeds that of the planet Jupiter.

The tongue of Bill Clinton is actually a wayward loop of his small intestine.

Shares in the UK's privatised electricity companies cannot be traded on the New York
stock exchange as they are the wrong voltage.

Evil cannot exceed 26mph, even when travelling downhill with a tailwind.

Bruce Willis's real name is Arseflap Boogiewoogie.

Queer-bashing was a perfectly harmless parlour game in Edwardian England. As is
commonly the case, the word was hijacked and misappropriated by a cabal of scofflaw
homosexuals.

Nostrils are considered drug paraphernalia by the state of California.

The first draft of Richard Nixon's resignation speech contained 65 occurrences of the word
'shitehawk' and warned explicitly about the dangers of new school hip-hop.

Wizards are barred from voting in Ireland.

Gravitational lensing around Boris Yeltsin's ego forces citizens of Moscow to pay double for
electricity.

Jabba the Hutt was briefly listed as Public Enemy No. 1 by the CIA in 1977.

According to a recent survey, 3 out of 5 candlemakers regularly mistake cinemas for
chocolate digestives.

Nightmares can be prevented by covering ones bedclothes with radioactive plutonium at
least an hour before bedtime.

The Spanish have no word for "duck", due to an ancient legend that states that, if such a
word were to be adopted into the language, Abba would reform for a comeback tour.

Hirsute television star David Hasselhoff claims that laying strips of uncooked bacon over
your head just before bedtime is an excellent cure for baldness.

The NASA probe currently en-route to Mars contains a Werthers Original toffee which fell
from the mouth of a technician into the innards of the craft, and could not be removed in time
for the launch.

All computer mice only have 4,725,245 clicks available for use.

American astronaut Neil Armstrong actually made two trips to the moon. He returned in
1975 to retrieve has wallet and car-keys which he had left behind on the previous occasion.

It wasn't an iceberg that sunk the Titanic; in fact, it was just too heavy to float.

The city of Glasgow was so named due to the mysterious disappearance of over 200
transparent drinking vessels in the area during the middle ages.

Gravity is an illusion caused by millions of microscopically tiny ants which continually attempt
to drag you into their subterranean lairs.

Popular television series "Scooby Doo" is based on the real-life exploits on a group of
American teenagers who, accompanied by their intelligent but cowardly dog, travelled the
country solving mysteries during the sixties.

You can obtain a UK passport by sending a stamped addressed envelope to 'Passport
Competition, PO Box 66, London', answering the simple question "What colour is the sky?"

When somebody is confused, their brain turns inside out and back to front. Therefore it is
always important to speak backwards when people are confused.

Light Emitting Diodes (LEDs for short) are infact small flies which have been caught inside a
red (or green) plastic casing. When power is placed to the terminals of a LED, the fly inside
gets frightened, and turns on a tiny torch to see if it can find a way out.

Slates' web page is used to send secret messages by the Women's institute.

Pat Sharp, presenter of Fun House on ITV, has constructed a death-ray which orbits the
earth putting us under a constant threat of annihilation.

Russell Slater invented muffin tops in 1866.

Plain white cows are used by the KGB to spy on dairy farmers in the UK.

It's illegal to trout-fish in Gibraltar.

In Indiana USA it is illegal to pass a blind person without violently beating him to the ground
and kicking dust in his face unless you can prove that you have a prosthetic left leg.

Referendums have been banned in the UK by a two thirds majority vote.

Dave Munden was the original founder of the Ned Beatty fan club.

Foxes have to be hunted by dogs in countryside areas of the UK because the hormones
produced in the pituitary gland of the dogs secretes a drug which causes the foxes to run to Iraq
where they pester Saddam Hussein to destroy all nuclear and biological warheads in his
possession.

When neglecting cleaning your bath for several weeks mildew will build towns within the
bath, houses near the plug will go for £70,000.