It's that time of year again!. The weather is just begining to warm up, well kinda, and all the lovely, usually calm grannies are just waking up after hibernation, priming their thumbs and forefingers, getting ready to grab hold of any young childs cheek and wobble it like mad.
Recently, however, a shocking report came to light of an
incident which occured over the christmas period when a granny
unexpectedly emerged from hibernation and turned up at christmas
lunch, wreaking havoc.
The family involved were enjoying a nice quiet christmas morning,
just the four of them, Mr and Mrs Brush, and their sons Basil and
Herbert. There was an unexpected knock at the door, and as Mr
Brush opened the door in stepped Grandma Bog (short for
Bognatori-onvalopus, it's Latin).
Straight away the rampaging woman took a swipe at young Basil's cheek, she missed once, but not again, poor Basil was left with moisturiser all over his cheek. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Herbert who immediately ran for the shelter of the washing machine. The persistance of this woman had irrotated Herbert over the years, and so he was on the end of his tether..he held vigil in the washing machine until his mum threatened to put him on spin cycle if he didn't come out. Poor Herbert scrambled out of the machine and escaped through the legs of his mum and away, up the stairs. By this time, Bog had become quite annoyed and the more Herbert ran away, the more annoyed she became. After about an hour of chasing around Herbert became tired and so gave in..but granny Bog was not amused. She grabbed Herbs' cheek and shook it violently "I WILL SHAKE THIS THING OFF YOUR HEAD IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN YOUNG MAN", and with that, poor Herbert felt his cheek rip away from his face and watched as his gran held one whole side of his face in her hand. Herbert now looked like Terminator, only no metal to holdhis face together and so his right eyeball and his whole brain slipped out of his cavity and landed in a heap on the floor, where the dog promptly thought "Hmmm, IT'S CHRRIISSTTMAS" and ate poor Herberts bodily organs. Herbert died and Granny Bog went to jail for a very long time, so children, killing is bad so don't do it...
Bog Brush, evil life of hatred and betrayal led her to this..